why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
