It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
