I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
should my penis look like a turkey
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
