Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Ketchup is God's man juice
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
