why do cheetos always look like penises
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
