I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
