Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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