Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize