they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
