thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize