And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
