Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
