Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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