i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
