so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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