all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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