I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
