the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
