We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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