yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
