So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
