New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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