I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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