a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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