Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just invented taco cereal.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Your penis caused this!
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