the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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