two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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