You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I look better un-naked...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
