That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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