He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You may now shotgun with the bride
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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