That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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