I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
