I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize