508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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