Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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