Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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