You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
