it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's never too late to be topless.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
