Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize