Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
