I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
