Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
