You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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