1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
