He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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