Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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