just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
