It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
