I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
