To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
