if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
