I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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