I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
