i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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