last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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