You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
