Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
