Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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