my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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