im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
