Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
