Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
