I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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