well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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