JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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