it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
