its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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