You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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