Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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